After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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