Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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