my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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