This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize