You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Two words: nipple clamps
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