please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
