he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
