You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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