This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
