we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
