why didn't you poke me back
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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