New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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