Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
