...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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