I think I am morally bankrupt
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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