i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
