and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My ass is underappreciated
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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