I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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