She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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