I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Found your dick twin last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
