i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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