I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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