He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
where are my eyebrows?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
