bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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