So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You're like the curious george of whores
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
