This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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