We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
