I accidentally had phone sex last night
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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