ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
