i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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