Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
