I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
