I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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