her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
