You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
