Just cropdusted the office
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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