I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
