Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
