The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
