Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
wow bdsm is so cute
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