Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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