how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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