what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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