The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
how do flat chested girls get laid?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
