Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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