i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
