But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
