Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
