Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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