I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
