You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
