I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize