we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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