Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
