respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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