YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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