Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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