He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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