Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
