Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
