i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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