saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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