I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
