Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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